1/10/20

Down the editing rabbit hole I go.



I have been going back over the first draft of my Nova Crea story, and have decided that I am going to split it into two books. I will first focus on what will comprise book one as I feel that what will account for book two is a lot stronger. 

That being said, I saved my draft out as an Epub file, and had google books read it to me. Now, it is true that the google voice does not a narrator make, but it was still a very interesting experience having the first part of the book read to me. I have a lot of editing that I want to do the the story overall now that I have have it all down, but that is the beauty of being a writer, I can edit it to do whatever I want. :)

Now that I am doing listening, I will begin the editing process. I started work on the beginning of the book, but stopped. I decided that I want to start at the end and work my way forward. This will help clarify all that I need to change/fix at the start of the book when I had the worst grasp of the story idea and the characters were not real to me as they are now. 

So here is my plan. I am going to go through each chapters in reverse, and make make a list of the plot or character changes are needed. I have some scenes that I want to replace completely and a couple that I think should be added. I will not worry about grammar or too much about specific items unless I think they will not have any impacts rippling out. 

Once that step is done, it will go back through the first half, and tighten up each chapter, focusing on the characters, their voices, and confirm that I am keeping them inline with their own arcs. 

Then, its off to the races with looking at the words themselves.... checking for passive voice, tightening up lines, and fixing the God awful amount of typos. 


In the past couple weeks I have been playing some games again, going though Hellblade, Senua's Sacrifice, (amazing, play it if you have not done so yet)  as well others. I will put an end to that and focus in on the project. My goal is to have a finished set of novels by the end of the year, so I need to get cranking. 

12/15/19

Changes

The wind blows, carrying with it a chilling bite and a promise of change.

This year, I am going to make it my goal to keep an updated blog all about writing, my current projects, and some of the short works and other smaller works that I have been dabbling around with.

Happy 2020!


Artist Unknown

2/13/17

After a long while, a new prompt appears.



You work at a company that carefully monitors one's dreams. It is a job that you've always wanted, until you get placed in the Nightmare Department.


When I was younger, I had a dream job. No, seriously, I work at a place that monitors people dreams. Don’t get me wrong, the technology that we used was absolutely state of the art. Through a new technology allowing the monitor- that being me, and a host to share brain-waves, we were able to enter someone’s dreams and experience what they were experiencing. That doesn’t sound so bad, right? Its really wasn’t. It is very similar to lucid dreaming, except you can exit at any time. Flying over cities, talking to animals, its all amazing.
What we did was ride along with people as they dreamed and analyze them to help with their therapy sessions. Mostly we worked with kids, and their dreams are usually pretty tame. I’ve done my fare share of ride-alongs with adults too, and they tend to get a little more weird with many undertones, and… uh… mature content. I loved it. Not the mature stuff… well, I mean OK I didn't hate it, but what I really mean is that I loved working with people. Helping them to understand their inner workings and what their subconsciouses were trying to tell them. I did well, was promoted a number of times, and really felt like I had everything going my way. Then my success caught up to me and they promoted me to “Special Cases,” nicknamed the nightmare closet. If you can imagine how great it was to fly and do all sorts of amazing things with the kids, just imagine the utter horror of being chased by a tornado with your feet feeling like they were encases in cement, or the feeling of millions of worms crawling around under your skin. Even when you are a passenger, that stuff sticks with you. I did my best to handle it though, and was even given specialized therapy sessions designed to help me distance myself from the dreams.
Then one day, we got a new case. A little girl, Annette. She wouldn’t talk, she barely ate, and she wouldn’t move unless you took her by the hand, and even then, she would barely shuffle along. The only times she would ever say anything was at night. Just one word, screamed over and over. “No!”
So, one night, they hooked me up and sent me in. The first night is always a simple observe and report. No interactions, no revealing myself. And so I went. I felt the machine take hold, and after a few moments, I felt the familiar sensation of my mind opening a door that was unseen.
I instantly found myself in the middle of an open field, the sun warm on my cheeks, and a slight breeze blowing a sweet smelling air through my hair. In the middle of the field was a small table, Annette sitting at the head, and a bunch of dogs wearing three piece suits sitting at each spot. The dogs were all laughing like humans, but Annette just sat there. Looking past them at the tall trees that were moving towards us as if the land was shrinking.
The sun quickly vanished as a mist settled over us, except that now the stars were out, and the moon cast a silver light all around. When I looked back down, the dogs were no longer laughing, but hulking monstrosities baring their teeth at Annette. She still just sat at the table, her head now bowed.
Then the first one lunged at her. I shouted and ran towards her, but there was no way I could make it in time. The beast grabbed her by the arm and began shaking his head from side to side, teeth snapping bone and rending flesh. She let out a scream that chilled me to my core. The other dogs arrived, each taking arm or leg, save one dog that stood nearly twice as tall as the rest. It circled around the shrieking child, and as it made its way around, looked towards me as I approached. It gave me an all-too-human smile and then pounced. It landed atop Annette, and sunk its massive fangs into the child’s face and neck, her wordless screams beginning to gargle with blood.
I yelled, but there was nothing I could do. I stopped short, and just watched. I knew it was a dream, but holy hell this was the most messed up thing I had ever seen. What had happened to this poor child to cause this type of em emotional scarring?
I hear a rustling behind me, and when I turned to see what it was, there was a forest and I could see Annette, whole and unbloodied, running into its darkness. I followed, stumbling on rock and root in the darkness. I quickly caught up though when we made it to a small cleared area, a ring of boulders, with circling an ancient looking tree, gnarled and knotted and smelling of rot. I stepped up next to the little girl, and put my hand on her shoulder.
“It’s going to be alright Annette, I’m here. This is just a dream. Everything is going to be alright.” I looked down towards her shaking body, and she looked up and met my eyes. They were wide and wet, and woefully resigned. “No.” She whispered.
“No?” I asked, but no sooner where the words out of my mouth when I felt something grab me by the legs and wrench them out from under me. I tried to get my arm under me in time, but I was so caught off guard that I didn’t quite make it, and my face slammed unto the musty ground. Whatever had its grip on my legs began to drag me through the brush and the dirt and the rocks, and I could feel my flesh give way to the scouring. I could hear Annette also screaming, ut I was powerless to do anything but try and protect my face. After a short moment I felt my body roll, and I opened my eyes. I was laying on top of a rock, branches or vines twisting and grabbing at my wrist and pinning them down like my legs. Above me stood the ancient tree, menace and hatred seeming to pour off of it. It now has an inhuman face, and it smiled.
“Hello,” it grated. “You are not supposed to be here. We only came for the girl.” I looked to my side, and next to me was Annette, pinned in place like me, but now silent. Her face was a wet mess of tears and dirt and blood. “What do you want with her?” I shouted, but the tree ignored me, instead, twisting and looking down to Annette.
“Child, I will ask you again tonight, like all the nights before. Where is it?”
“Where is what?” I yelled when Annette remained silent, but I got no response from either. “Where is what you dick?” I shouted again, and the tree turned on me.
“Be thou silent, mortal.” It said coldly, and then I felt as my head was grasped by a group of vines. They sent their smaller tendrils into my mouth, forcing my jaw open, and then punctured my tongue over and over. I tried to move, to shout, to do anything but I was immobile. And then, just like that, they retreated, my tongue taken as their prize. I looked back at Annette, and the tree monster now pushing one of its branches into her stomach.
“Where is it?” Is asked again, and pushed the branch a little harder.
“No,” She said, teeth gripped.
“Where?” The branches began to break the skin.
“No!” She yelled this time.
“I will have your soul if I have to rip it from you in shreds. Now, where is it!?”
“NOOO!!!!”
The tree shoved its branches forward, and they plunged into the child’s abdomen with a wet sound. I tried to cry out but could only make faint moaning sounds. “Tell me!” The tree roared.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Annette roared, her voice hitting me like an avalanche, and I could see it hit the tree with a similar force. It roared back in defiance, and split it’s branch into segments, shredding Annette’s body into ribbons, but rather than blood, a bright golden light shone forth. It pierced the darkness with needle thick shafts of dancing radiance. The tree bellowed, using some of its branches to shield its eyes, bark smoldering and some it its leaves catching fire.
Annette stood there, a body made entirely of light. She looked at the tree, and turned around, running back into the forest, her light fading back into skin. After a moment, she was gone, and I was left with the monster. I looked back down to me, smoke still trailing up from its edges.
“Well well, this is a surprise. You should not have seen that.”
I felt tendrils begin to make their ways over my body again.
“I will have to remedy this.”
“My vision went red and I could feel the small vines push into my eye sockets, ripping and pulling until my eyes were free. I tried to yell, but couldn’t. I couldn’t thrash. I couldn’t see. My world was now black. I heard the tree laugh, and say my name. I started. This wasn’t my dream, it couldn’t know that.
“You will not enter my domain again,” It said. “Be gone!”
And thats when I awoke. I could feel the sweat covering my body and could hear the voices of the shouting attendants as they were trying to rouse me.
I sat up, dizzy and tried to ask someone to turn on the lights. The words… they wouldn’t come. I reached my hands to my mouth but my tongue was still there. I tried again, but only gibberish came out, and thats when I realized the room wasn’t dark. It was black. Empty. There was nothing. My sight was gone.
Wake up! Wake up! I tried to wake myself up, and use all the methods that I have been trained on, and came to a sick realization.
I was awake.
I was mute.
I was blind.
And I just witnessed something eternal.

7/21/14

Monday Night Write: "Mine"



Mine

From a writing prompt on reddit.com:


http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/2ay1j0/wp_on_his_deathbed_your_father_confesses_that/


I wasn't sure if it was the drugs playing tricks on his already failing mind or if there is any truth to his claims, but in his last moments, my father told me what he said was his biggest secret. Lets get a few things straight here before I tell the story; My father was a hard man. He worked hard and took no guff from anyone. He has always hated science fiction for as long as I can remember, and he has always said that truth should never be compromised, so when he swore to me that this actually happened, I believe that true or not, he actually believed it. These are his words, transcribed from my phone that was recording the conversation.


“You know I am not crazy right!”
“Yes dad, I know.”
“I have to tell you the truth! Nothing else matters.”
“It’s OK dad, there is no need to get ups-”
“YES THERE IS! You don't remember what happened but I do! Every night for the last 35 years I have relived it. Every night.. that face.. [He falls into a coughing fit here.]
“You OK? Need me to get a nurse? [I stood up to get help but he grabbed my wrist and drew me close to him]
“I don’t know how it got in, but when I heard you crying I came out and saw something huge and dark standing over your crib.” [Coughing] I didn't know what to do! I am so sorry. [Sobbing] I am so sorry David. I was so afraid… I could hear its voice in my head, asking questions… seeing my memories. I….” [He was quiet here for a long moment]
“Dad? [Pause] Dad, its ok. I’m here, and I am ok.”
“It spoke to me.”
“What?”
“The thing, it spoke to me.”
“What did it say?”
“Mine…”
“Mine?”
“Mine! And then he reached down and picked you up... It was in my head David. It hurt, I tried so hard to…” [Here he mumbled for a while, what sounds like gibberish. His eyes were focused on nothing and I had to shake him to get him back to reality.]
“Dad?... Dad, you OK?”
“I killed it!” It was in my head… It had you. I killed it. I killed it. I killed it. I killed it.”
“What?”
“Hunting rifle….. by the door. Shot it in the back.”
[I was silent at this point because I honestly had no clue how to respond. He look at me, and then turned his face away after a few moments.]
“I’m not crazy. I know what I saw.”
“I believe you dad. I don’t know why, but I believe you.”
“it… it’s still out there.”
“I thought you said you killed it?”
“I did. Buried it by the old fallen pine.”
[He had another coughing fit and then we just sat there for a few minutes, and then he seemed to compose himself a little better]
“I went back out there a few years later, convinced I was crazy. I needed to see it. I could still see it in my head, feel it poking around, but I honestly thought I was losing my mind or something. It wasn’t there anymore, but the rug I wrapped it in was, and it was still stained with blood.”
“Dad...I… I don’t know what to say”
“I heard more….”
“More what?”
“ I don’t know what it was David. Maybe it was bigfoot, or aliens... or something something else, I dont know… but I swear to God Almighty that when I was filling in the hole, I heard noises in the woods… words. I don’t know what they were, but I could hear them talking…. so I ran. I ran as fast as I could and never went back. That was the year we sold the cabin.”
“Wow.”
[He laughed]
“You’re damned right wow!”


[A few more coughs and then he held his hand out and dropped an old rusted bullet casing into my hands]
“I think…. I might sleep for a while now.”
“OK dad.”
“Stay with me David?”
“Ok dad.”

He fell asleep, and shortly after passed away in his sleep. I have not decided yet if I want to go up to the woods and look for the hole with the carpet, it its even still there… I don’t know if my dad was all there when he told me that story, but what I do know is the last 50 years, there have been more instances of missing hikers, children, and kidnapped babies than any other wooded area for about 700 miles. Maybe I will go up there some day… but if I do, you can bet I will be bringing my dad’s old hunting rifle with me!

6/23/14

Monday Night Write: "Smile, you are going to war"

http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/28w6ve/ip_smile_you_are_going_to_war/
Image Prompt

All anyone talks about now-a-days is war. Not “a” war or “the” war, but just war in general. To tell you truth, I don’t think I can take it. They have had us juicing up with these drugs that make us crave war, to crave that battlefield experience, and I think they… whoever “they” is now, have been putting it in the water or something too. I stopped taking my dose about 1 week ago, and I regret every moment of it. There is no happiness for me outside of war. There is no hope. I look around and all I see is this new drug for this or that, and people watching the daily war feeds, or old war movies. I fear one day we are going to reach a tipping point, where we do not have enough enemies to fight, and begin to kill ourselves. And maybe we deserve it. I can see the faces of the innocent that I have killed. I can remember the ecstasy I felt with every life I took, but where are those feelings now? In the water or in the pills? Maybe I should take my “medicine” and be happy. “Smile, you are going to war!” they say, and then put the needle in your neck. But at least it’s better than the pain. The guilt. Maybe this time, I will take a lead pill, and smile, because the war, for me anyway, is finally over.

6/17/14

Monday Night Write: "Anonymous Cowboy"





Since the untimely death of her husband just six months ago, Sue-Ann Beasley had been trying her best to keep her ranch in order, despite the men that the bank had kept sending out to pressure her to sell. She knew that the wealthy folk were all in cahoots and wanted to get her off this land so they could build their precious railroad through her property, but she couldn’t accept any of their offers. Her husband had worked hard to buy this land, and she would honor his memory and keep working until her son was old enough to take over, or she could start profiting enough to hire some ranch-hands.
The night that she met the cowboy will not quickly fade from her mind. She was fast asleep when the sound of panicked horses and men shouting woke her. She bolted up and ran to the window to see that her barn was on fire, and men were riding around it throwing torches and lamps. Afraid for her son in the crib next to her bed, Sue grabbed the rifle she kept next to her night-stand and took aim out the window. She was about to fire at the first man to enter her sights when something hit her on the back of the head sending out tendrils of cold flame though her body, and she felt herself hit the floor.  


“No, please,” she tried saying, but the words were slurred. In that moment, she knew. The banks had won. Her land was lost, and now, quite possibly her life and the life of her son for all she knew.


“Please, not my boy,” she said again, strength returning to her voice, and she slowly tried to push herself up.


“You done waited too long,” a chew laden voice said through a chuckle, and then pain returned to the back of her head as someone grabbed her head and started pulling her out of the room.


The men outside became even more exuberant when they saw their leader had pulled Sue outside.


“First we-unna gonna kill yer boy,” The man said letting go of Sue’s hair and snapping fingers towards the house she was just taken from. Two men threw their oil lamps into the windows and fire immediately exploded throughout the house. Sue screamed in pure agony that only a mother’s heart could experience, but a hand slapped her across the face, stunning her and smothering the scream. She could could feel the man’s mouth next to her ear and he kneeled down to her, his chuckle growing in his voice.


“And while that little piss is burnin and squealing like a stuck pig, we gonna take you…”


He started ripping the bottom of her nightgown, a low guttural sound filling his throat.


“... until we alllllll had our fill.” He let out another growl and his leathery hands began to slowly writhe around her body like a serpent. This made the men only become more excited and they began hollering like indians and making their way towards her.


She tried to push them away, tried to stop them, but any single one of them was stronger than she was. She screamed and thrashed, and cried for her son, but it was hopeless.


“Please!” she screamed, over and over. “Please!”


But no voice answered her. Instead, she heard the report of someone firing from outside the light of the fire which was now engulfing both buildings. The man who had begun to hold her left arm down suddenly twitched as a splatter of something hot and metallic tasting spattered across her face, and then he slumped over, his grip on her arm slacking.


Then she heard a second report, and a third. After a moment, she had lost count, and the men who were holding her down had either been shot, or were scattering for cover. All except the big burly man who had pulled her out of the house, and who now held her in front of himself with his pistol pressed firmly to the side of her head. Then the shooting stopped and all that could be heard over the roar of the fire were the whispered shouts of the remaining men, and the jangling of spurts, hoofs slowly padding across the earth, and the creak of a saddle.


“Quiet!” the man hissed to his men, and they all stared into the darkness as a black from atop a horse slowly rode up. He stopped just outside of the light’s ability to show his features, save for the sheen in his eyes and silhouette of his hat. He just sat there for a full minute, shrouded with shadow and an unnerving silence. Then, with a casual grace, he dismounted and gave the horse a pat on the rear causing it to walk back into the darkness.


“Partner, yud best turn back around and get if you know what's good fer ya.”


The sheen spread to the shadowed man’s mouth as the light from the fires played on his teeth, and he took a step forward. One of the men in hiding stood and raised his rifle to shoot the newcomer, but the shadowed cowboy’s hands flew to his holstered pistol and back up with supernatural speed, firing a single bullet that hit the raider right above his nose. He fell down, dead, his rifle having never been shot. The echos of the gunshot resounded for a short moment, and then all the remaining men stood and began firing.


Still walking slowly towards them, the cowboy, by which the firelight could now confirm, pulled his second pistol out, and began firing in return. To Sue, it seemed his arms were controlling themselves, as he walked towards them, his eyes remaining on hers.


It only took a few moments, but in that short time, the cowboy had dispatched all the men except for Sue’s captor, and had not a scratch to show for it.


“I’ll kill`er” the burly man spat. “Stop right there or i’ll put a new hole in`er head!”


The cowboy stopped.


“Throw em!” the man commanded, but the cowboy just stood there. “Throw em on the ground!” the man bellowed, motioning towards the earth with his pistol. Thats when the cowboy stuck. With a single lighting fast reaction, his hand flew to his pistol, and from the hip, shot the other man’s pistol right from his grip, taking a portion of his index finger with it.


Sue followed the cowboy’s lead, and tore away from the man’s other arm in his moment of shock. She flung herself towards the cowboy, but stopped just outside of his reach.


“Wait!” the bleeding man said, desperation in his voice. “Wait! Don’t kill me! I have information. I have gold. Just wait!”


The cowboy glanced at Sue as if asking her permission. She took a moment to compose herself and then spoke to the cowboy.
“Thank you.”
A shallow nod was his only reply.
“Please, wait…” the man droned on.
“Let me talk to him?” Sue asked.
Another nod.
She walked back over to the man, now clutching his bloody hand, and she withdrew his second revolver from its holster and she aimed it at his head.
“Gold.” she stated flatly.
“Yes, yes. take it!” the man said, slowly reaching into his vest and pulling out a small sack and tossed it to the ground at her feet.
“Who?”
“Mr. Applemoore. He needs the land for them rail cars. He-”
Sue abruptly dropped the pistol and fired a round into the man’s knee. He fell to the ground with a cry of shock and pain, and curses began pouring out of his mouth.
“Stupid wench!” the man spat! “At least we killed yer kid!” he taunted in his rage, the pain stifling the laugh he was so desperate to show.
“Roasted him like a hog!”


Sue calmly moved to pistol to her left hand reached down picking up one of the remaining lamps, and threw it at the man’s head. He burst into flames, oil covering his body and aoking into his clothes like a human torch, and he shrieked in outrage and agony.


And then the anguish washed over Sue. She looked to the house where her son had been sleeping, the room now entirely engulfed. She sank to her knees, sobbs welling up from deep inside. She knew the cowboy had moved to stand beside her because of the slight whistle he made, but she didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. She wished the the men had just killed her outright.


She felt a strong hand give her shoulder a slight squeeze, and when she looked up, the cowboy was holding a small child wrapped in cloth. She leaped to her feet and took her son from the man, her sobs instantly transformed from the darkest of nights to the brilliant sun of midday.


“How?” she asked through the tears, but the man just smiled.
‘Thank you!” she said, burying her face into the cloth and kissing her son. “Thank you thank you thank you!”


She just sat there for a few minutes reeling from all that just took place. The moans from the burning man had quieted, and when she looked up, the cowboy was back on his horse. He reached up one hand to the brim of his hat, and gave her a nod. Then he tossed her 5 pouches identical to the pouch of gold taken from the gang’s leader.


“Who are you?” she asked.


“Just a cowboy,” the man said, voice thick and low. Then he turned his horse, and began riding out in the same fashion he had arrived.


“Wait?” she called after him, but he just kept on riding, fading into the darkness and out of sight.


“Who’s going to help me if more come?” she yelled.


But the night was now still with the crackle of fire, except for two words that rang out in the dark, cutting the silence like a trumpet.


“I am!”